A Lesson in Recovery

Honestly, I think the past two weeks have been the most trying of my life. Days off? Ha. Weeks without movement? Please.

I like to move, shake and feel alive. Dance, do “the whip”, whatever. My doctor insisted that I sit still for once. This is not in my vocabulary, but it is what the “doctor ordered”.

So I sit still for the first time. Ever.

As I see others moving through life while I am incapacitated, I am reminded to be grateful for the things I take for granted. Being on crutches has taught me a self-suffiency that I did not realize I possessed. I’ve learned an enormous amount about myself and my ability to navigate tough situations—crutches and all. My injury is not life threatening and seems so much worse because I am an elite athlete with Olympic dreams. Those dreams are alive and well, festering in my brain as I recover.

I have a new respect for those with true catastrophic injury or illness. I’m aware my current state of fitness, which will enable me to recover quickly, and athletic ability, are a gift from God.

These past couple of weeks have been a test. I am so ready for the challenge ahead, and I trust in my faith, the support around me and all of you.

  

Season-Ending Surgery

This is the last race I will run for a few months.  Here I am pacing a few RunningWorks athletes in the final event of the Run For Your Life Summer Track Series.

I write this blog on the eve of a season-ending in surgery on my right foot.  Dr. Robert Anderson of the Foot and Ankle Institute at OrthoCarolina in Charlotte, North Carolina, will be performing the surgery and I will be going in to have the procedure at 5:30am.  This season is unfortunately over for me, and I have a wide range of emotions going through my mind.  I am relieved to know exactly what this long term problem is in my foot.  I am anxious about the outcome of surgery and what my foot will be like after rehab is over. I am curious to know what caused my injury. I am worried about the timing.  I am frustrated about the fact that I had wonderful fall and winter training and that I will not be allowed to run for three months.  I have never not been able to run for a prolonged period of time.  I am sad that I will not be able to take care of myself fully for a while. I am fearful of all of the unknowns.

With all that being said and the normalcy involved with each of these thoughts with any type of surgery, I know that I am in the best hands possible for this procedure.  I know that I have wonderful people taking care of me every day. I know that my foot will be stronger than ever before.  I am excited to see how I will perform on two good feet. I am dreaming of looking back on this experience and reflecting upon how this not only made me a better runner but tested my spirit and well-being in an incredibly positive way.  I am grateful that this experience will help me be a better coach and will give me a clearer picture of how injury is a real part of sports, and that athletes of all levels and abilities experience it. I am thankful that I am still overall very healthy and that my future will be brighter because of this procedure. There are many ways to look at this surgery and how it will affect my life.

Perhaps the most important thing I am thankful for through these changes and challenges has been the opportunity that still surrounds me.  Life can pull us in so many directions and living out my passions as a runner, teacher and coach are a blessing.  It seems that no matter where I am living, I always have the chance to share life with others through running.  This season has been the first where my entire life has revolved around what I love the most: my training and working with young children through In the Arena. Unfortunately, this surgery will put on hold my direct involvement with the professional running world of training, traveling and racing as well as the Summer Track Program offered through Knoxville Youth Athletics (KYA), which starts this week. This KYA program happens to be the largest in their lineup offering opportunities for all athletes from those who want to try track for the first time to the competitive team who will train for the National AAU Championships.  Despite my absence from Knoxville and competitive running for the next few months, I still have an opportunity to stay connected with the running community here in Charlotte as I rehab through assisting with the RunningWorks program for abused, abandoned, neglected and homeless populations of all ages.

I will have to rest and stay off of my feet for the following two weeks.  However, I can become mobile again over the next four weeks on crutches and the ensuing four weeks after that in a walking boot before I can finally run again.  Working with RunningWorks throughout my time in here in Charlotte will give me the chance to make an impact, to still give back, to gain the motivation I need to stay positive and to feel part of a greater goal and a team that I desperately need around me to succeed. This past week was the start of a summer track series hosted by local running store Run For Your Life.  This informal track meet had events for all ages and abilities ranging from the 100m dash to the 3200m run.  I had the chance to coach several of our RunningWorks team in a 4x100m relay and paced a athletes through a couple of individual events.  The pictures below tell the story of the last track meet I will run at for a while…

Teaching 4x100 handoff exchanges at the first ever track meet for each of these guys.

Mal and Nate post 3200m run after several events.

Pacing Abu to a 5:44 mile in his first long distance track race trailed by Troy who ran 6:31.

Attitude in the Midst of Adversity

“The stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind.”— Bruce Lee

“Adversity introduces a man to himself.” – Albert Einstein

The motto for my cross-country team in high school was “Attitude is Everything.” My mother (who was my coach) was a huge proponent of instilling this principle to our team members as running can often bring out the best and worst of all of us.  As cliché as our motto was, I learned that my attitude was really the only thing I could truly control in life.  I am responsible for how I react to both the good and bad things that happen to me.  Even when I was teaching, I strived to help my students realize that they had a choice every day to come into my class and have a “good” day, and if they did not—to strive to make the right choices to get back on track and keep moving forward towards the good day that is always within reach.  I have had my fair share of good and bad days in life, as well as my share of good and bad days with running.  Adversity surrounds all of us and anyone that has ever experienced success has also experienced adversity that comes along with it. 

In 2012, I moved to Bloomington, Indiana, to train with Team Indiana Elite.  This was my first experience moving outside the state of South Carolina, and was the first opportunity I had to train with a group of athletes who had aspirations of making the USA Olympic Team.  With all of these opportunities in front of me, there were many setbacks as well as I suffered my first extensive running injury—posterior tibial tendinitis in my right foot that sidelined me for eight weeks.  This injury took a toll on me in many ways—particularly mentally, as it was a nagging inhibitor that I was able to finally train through. During each and every stride I took, I could feel the lack of response in my foot, which cost a valuable spot at the 2012 Olympic Trials.  The cause of my injury at the time was unknown, but after much reflection I realized that excessive indoor running, i.e. double the turns and banked tracks, may have caused my tendon to flare up and become the chronic issue that plagued my season. 

Upon my return to South Carolina later in the summer of 2012, I was able to further rehabilitate my foot and ankle and have had virtually no issues the entire 2013 and 2014 campaigns.  My 2014 season was the worst of my professional career, and I made many changes in my life both personally and athletically to make 2015 my better.  I moved to Knoxville, work with a new children’s organization (KYA) and train full-time with my sights set on the 2015 World Championships and the Olympics in 2016.  However, after this indoor season where I ran seven races and three indoor workouts, my foot began to bother me again.  The swelling and pain were not as severe as in 2012, but I knew something was wrong as my foot and ankle were “out of sync” and I was not running with equal force production on both sides of my body.  After my trip to Colorado and my race at Payton Jordan, I returned to Charlotte, North Carolina, to train for a few days before heading out to the USATF Hoka One One Distance Classic.  I trained on schedule for a few days and became more and more frustrated as my foot was failing to respond. 

After expressing my concern with my friend Meredith Dolhare, she was able to set up an appointment here in Charlotte with Dr. Robert Anderson at the OrthoCarolina Foot and Ankle Institute.  He has performed foot surgeries on athletes of the caliber of Aaron Rodgers, Kevin Durant and Sonya Richards-Ross.  As he examined my foot and ankle he noticed that my ankle joint was virtually immobile and was causing major stress to my posterior tibial tendon that had been swelling and causing my foot to under-perform these last few months, possibly years.  He also noted that I would need an immediate MRI and that surgery was a high possibility to correct the problem with my foot that may include joint and tendon reconstruction.

I had the MRI on my foot and ankle today and will await the results of the scan imminently.  I love running, and I love learning.  And maybe I should have had an expert examine my foot some time ago.  I refuse to discount my dreams for this season and beyond.  Adversity is always the best teacher and best motivator.  I was frustrated and down quite a bit this week but think back and realize that many, many athletes suffer injuries and setbacks because this is sports and at any level the body is taking a beating training and competing.  I know that I am meant to run and that I am meant to run fast.  I want be my best and realize also that running does not define me or my success but that it is a part of me and helps me be my best.  Onwards. Upwards.

Ultra Marathon Mindset

Fellow Crew Man Kevin Compayre post race on top of Palomar Mountain after the completion of Badwater Salton Sea

Running is such a complex, intriguing and frustrating sport.  There are so many factors at play with training and racing and learning how to balance the lifestyle of this sport that constantly demands balance and flexibility as the end goal is always standing bright in the distance.  The battle between the body that is prepared and the mind that is distracted and wavering between the forces of confidence and uncertainty is forever present.  The savoring pleasure of success and achievement in training or racing is constantly combated with the looming failure and short-comings of a sub-par performance.  These factors all encompass the reason why I love this sport and why I have sacrificed so much to be the absolute best runner I can be.

I always have a standard for myself and a goal and a yearning as a race approaches.  I have not raced in two months and had prepared diligently for the Payton Jordan Invitational 5k at Stanford this past weekend.  My race did not go as planned, and I did not meet my goal—an experience that has occurred for the first time this season.  The 5k is a step up in distance for me, but I have a great passion for it.  It is a race of strength and speed, much like the mile in my mind, and I know I can be successful at it. This race resulted in my 3^rd fastest 5k time to date (13:54), but my goal was to run under 13:40. My fitness in training had shown great promise to achieve my goal time. As all Type A runners can relate, falling short of a goal is extremely frustrating and elicits many negative emotions. It would be really easy for me to tell myself, “Maybe I am not a 5k runner,” as I have fallen short of my goal many times in the 5k.  I will be better next time! 

These concepts of the inner struggle of runners face become even more real as I learn more about the sport of ultra marathon running.  An ultra marathon is considered to be any race that is longer than the distance of the standard marathon—26.2 miles.  My friend Meredith Dolhare is an avid ultra athlete who is currently tackling the Badwater Ultra Cup Race Series. This series encompasses the following races in extreme condtions: the 51-mile Badwater Cape Fear where 39 miles are run in sand; the 81-mile Badwater Salton Sea that has over 9000ft. of elevation gains and is run from the southern California desert to the top of Palomar Mountain with huge temperature fluctuations; and the signature race which is the Badwater 135-mile Ultramarathon that is considered by National Geographic to be the “World’s Toughest Foot Race” as it starts at Badwater Basin in Death Valley, California (the lowest point in the continental USA), and runs almost to the summit of  Mount Whitney (the highest point in the continental USA). Meredith also takes the Ultra Cup one step further by competing in the Silver State 508-mile Bicycle Race of the Adventure Corps series in the Nevada desert.  Each of these races not only takes a physical toll, but requires an exorbitant amount of mental fortitude and force of will. 

Myself, Meredith, Race Director Chris Kostman, Pam Rickard, Marshall Ulrich ("The Father of Ultra Running", 19-time Badwater Finisher), Norma Bastidas

This past weekend after my race in Palo Alto, I crewed for Meredith as she ran the 81-mile Badwater Salton Sea race with her two teammates Pam and Norma.  At this particular race, the three of them have to stay within 25 meters of each other and finish intact or their efforts are in vain. I made it to the race after 6 hours of travel and caught up with her team and fellow Crew Man Kevin at mile 35.  As I look back at my experience watching these women and many other teams navigating this treacherous course, I could not help but feel the ultimate inspiration that only running can bring.  It doesn’t matter how fast you run, how far you run, how hot it is, how hard the wind is blowing, who is on your team, what supplements you take—a race is a race.  Our sport is so simple.  Everyone has to put on their shoes and shorts, or hydration vests and headlamps in this case—and everyone has to grind to the finish.  The ultra marathon helped me see running again in its rawest and most vivid form.  The first athlete to the finish is the winner.  Whoever covered the 81-mile course and didn’t quit is a winner. 

Badwater Salton Sea course view with Palomar Mountain looming.

          I was a winner at Stanford, too.  I did not set a PR or place well in my heat (17^th).  I did run hard.  I did push to the finish.  I did prepare as best I could.  That was all I could do on May 2^nd this year, and I have no regrets as a result of the realization of these things.  I have the best coaches, family and support any athlete in the world could have.  Every race presents itself with the opportunity to win, lose or learn.  Just like in life, things will not always go my way.  It is my choice in how I deal with all the success and failure life may bring.  I can choose to lose and sulk and get down on myself when challenges arise, or I can chose to pick myself up and learn from the experience and be better equipped for success the next time. I am confident there will be many more opportunities to achieve great things if I maintain the right attitude.  Running has taught me so much, and I am so grateful for what I have learned through this sport.

To learn more about the Badwater and Adventure Corps Race series, please visit www.adventurecorps.com. I promise you will not be disappointed!  Race director Chris Kostman and his wife Laurie truly put on first-class race events that I may participate in myself….one day!

Testing Your Mind

            My time in my favorite state is unfortunately coming to a close this week as I return back to the southeast Wednesday.  I have accomplished many of my training goals in Colorado and am looking forward to seeing the fruits of my labor in three upcoming races in May.  The first will be a 5k at the Payton Jordan Invitational at Stanford University on May 2nd.  The second will be a 1500m at the USATF High Performance Meet at Occidental College on May 14th. The third will be a 1500m at Furman University on May 30th.  My goal in each of these races is to practice my positioning and racing tactics by solidifying a spot in the front half of each pack of the races I run.  Running standards and a personal best are (obvious) goals, but my coach Ruud and I feel that if I want to make a World or Olympic team my tactics have to improve.  Mentally, I must prepare in a concrete and intense manner to allow myself to feel comfortable with top level athletes going into the last lap of a race.  It is a great feeling to pass people in the final kick, but it will be a horrible realization finishing 4^th, 5^th or 6^th in a final or failing to qualify for a final knowing I have one of the fastest kicks in this country but failing in my tactical endeavors during the race.

            We all have pieces of adversity or daily adaptations that life may bring, and the choice of how  to handle and make the most of those situations.  We all have strengths that can help us overcome these “battles”, and we all have weaknesses that we need to address in order to help realize our full potential.  Colorado has been an extraordinary teacher in my life these past three weeks.  Although the weather is beautiful and sunny 300/365 days a year here--many evils that hinder running performance lie in this place!  Here are some of the elements of training in Colorado that create a beautiful struggle for the distance runner’s mind and body daily—ultimately providing the challenges that create a better athlete while seemingly breaking us down at every turn:

• Altitude—Training at altitude can create the highest of highs after a good workout and one of the lowest lows after a poor performance.  The good and bad sessions require a 2-3 hour nap to regenerate, and sleeping at 8,500 feet each night is another workout in itself.
• Wind—The average wind in Colorado Springs and the surrounding areas is between 10-20mph during the Spring season and over half of the days I have been here have had steady wind readings between 20-30mph.  The wind has frustrated me tremendously and caused me to become an infant mentally many days during this training block.  However, it has caused me to make appropriate adjustments to my training, allowed me to focus on effort instead of time and helped me focus at a deeper level than I could have reached otherwise.
• Weather—I have run in as cold as 22 degrees and as warm as 79 degrees during this training block.  I have experienced the driest conditions of my life at 9% relative humidity in Pueblo, CO, and seen over a foot of snow fall over night for the first time in Woodland Park, CO.  I am a very regimented person and like structure in all areas of my life.  This weather, however, has added an era of flexibility to my daily routine and helped me to become a more adaptable and tougher athlete.

Supporting Dr. Jay Kinsman's son at his track meet in Fountain, CO, when it snowed on April 18. #NoExcuses

• Excessive Monitoring—Training at altitude requires us to be even more conscious of their body.  Hydration is critical and slightly annoying as we must constantly drink water and isotonic solutions to keep our bodies functioning properly.  Going to the bathroom 2-3 times a day more than normal and multiple times throughout the night is hilarious at times—but worth it.  On a side note, I also am eating 200-300 grams of carbohydrates more per day here as the body needs more to fuel and recover because I am even “working” while resting at altitude.  Talking with my coach has been even more of a priority because at altitude it is much easier to overreach in training, and I risk losing all the benefits altitude provides by “going too hard.” 

79 degrees and sunny in Pueblo, CO.

One week later in Woodland Park, CO when it snowed over 12 inches.

     These challenges have impacted my life and all helped make this trip special in their own way.  I am very blessed to have a great deal of support to help combat these pieces of adversity.  I want to thank Brooks Running for funding a large part of this trip and for Dr. Jay Kinsman for opening up his home to me free of charge for 23 days.  I want to thank Coach Scott Simmons and the American Distance Project for allowing me to join them on many workouts and training runs.  I would like to thank Fred and Joe at Action Potential Physical Therapy for keeping me healthy as I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t seen them twice a week.  Many thanks to my new massage therapist in Colorado Springs, Lori, as she provided the most thorough one hour massages I have experienced to date.

Tempo run with the American Distance Project.

Dr .Kinsman, daughter Audrey, Meredith and I on our way to see Dr. Kinsman's son Colin at a track meet in Salida, CO.

     And lastly, I would like to thank my rock Meredith  Dolhare for coming to visit me for a week.  She sacrificed an immense amount of time away from her family and RunningWorks to visit me. She always wears many hats, but she was my training partner, my coach, my encourager, and my best friend to name a few.  One of the highlights of her visit was a helicopter rider over the Royal Gorge and Pikes Peak just outside of Colorado Springs.  Seeing the Rocky Mountains from this venue really helped me put this entire trip into perspective as their inexplicable beauty summed up how truly blessed I am to be able to take a trip like this and focus on my biggest passion in life—running the race that is set before me!  

Surround Yourself With Good People

View from the Woodland Park High School Track at 8,500ft. that has Pikes Peak (14,108ft.) as a spectator every day! 

This past week I began a three week altitude training camp in Colorado.  I will be staying with Dr. Jay Kinsman, who is the team doctor for the American Distance Project, where he resides in Woodland Park, CO, at an elevation of 8,500 feet.  I will be doing a large part of my training in Colorado Springs, CO, (6,000ft. elevation) and Pueblo, CO (4,700ft. elevation).  Many professional distance athletes choose to train in Flagstaff, Arizona, at this time of year, but I feel that Colorado meets my altitude needs in an even better way as I can travel from 8,500ft. to 4,700ft. in a 1 hour drive right down the interstate with track access at virtually any elevation in between.  This is my fourth trip to Colorado for altitude training, and I am focusing solely on letting the thin air prepare me for my first outdoor track race of this 2015 season (and beyond)—a 5k on the track at Stanford University on Saturday May 2.

Dr. Kinsman has two children, Audrey (a 7^th grader) and Colin (a 9^th grader), who both run track.  I had the privilege of speaking to Audrey’s middle school team and Colin’s high school team this past week in Woodland Park.  Even though Knoxville Youth Athletics doesn't have any programs at this time, I am still often times presented with opportunities to connect with youth wherever I go!  Audrey had around 50 athletes on her team and Colin had approximately 40 on his team.  The main focus of my talk to the middle school team was having fun and learning how to compete and set goals for yourself.  The main focus of my talk to the high school team had three parts: how to take care of your body, how to prepare your mind, and to always surround yourself with good people.  As I spent time with each of these teams and reflected prior to and after each talk I gave, I could not help but think about how truly important it is to surround yourself with good people who love and support and invest time in your life.

I was humbled to the core as I thought about all the people on my own support team who have sacrificed an immense amount of time and energy on my behalf.  The more I thought about it, many people on the outside looking in may think that these individuals help me because I am fast or because I am an athlete seeking an Olympic berth.  But truth be told, these people have invested in my life because they want me to be the best person I can be, and they are dedicated to the process of my development as an athlete as a result of this fact.  I challenged the athletes on the Woodland Park middle school and high school teams to find people who care about them and love them for who they are and the rest will take care of itself because the time you spend with these people will be maximized to the fullest and you will be constantly taking positive steps towards your goals in life—on and off the track.

          I am thankful for the support system I have and get overwhelmed as I think about all those who have had a part in helping me become the person I have become today.  God is good, and I know that my relationship with Him has been the catalyst for forming these relationships and in having the indescribable opportunities I have been given through the sport of track and field. So I leave you all with HAPPY EASTER! And remember to thank someone today who has invested time in your life and helped you become who you are today! 

Witnessing Running at Work

Within the past week, I had the opportunity to both volunteer and share some experience and strength with another nonprofit that is near and dear to my heart: RunningWorks based in Charlotte, North Carolina, but with five programs in surrounding areas--including on the campus of The Palmetto School in Rock Hill, South Carolina, where I used to teach children in DSS custody. RunningWorks uses sport to empower individuals and families to break cycles of abuse, neglect, poverty and homelessness one stride at a time. Each of the five programs, no matter the population served, follows the same curriculum with a run / walk and then a life skill session or inspirational guest speaker.

Following Indoor Nationals in Boston, I took a two-week complete break from running for the first time ever. As part of my In the Arena responsibilities, which I love and have mentioned often in previous blogs, I coach a youth track program, Knoxville Youth Athletics, in Tennessee, with third to ninth grade kids. My first week off was the last week of our "indoor" season, so I was left to my own devices for Week Two and decided to head to Charlotte to assist and support my friend Meredith Dolhare, who founded RunningWorks. This program embodies all of the things In the Arena stands for because it is a mentor-driven, sport for social change initiative. Personally, I think the photos below speak for themselves.

RunningWorks at The Relatives On Ramp Resource Center in Charlotte, NC, which works with young adults cycling out of foster care at 17-years-old with nowhere to go except the streets, runaways and other tough cases up to 24 years of age.

Helping one of the RunningWorks team members get ready for the run
and fit properly into new shoes, apparel and Balega socks.

RunningWorks hits the city streets for a 5k loop from The Relatives On Ramp
to BB&T Baseball Stadium--their favorite route.

Almost to the ballpark, several of the team members
started pushing the pace!

The fast crew at BB&T Ballpark with the beautiful city of Charlotte in the background.  RunningWorks always has a walking group as well to make sure that all levels are accommodated.

Headed back to home base for pizza and a life skill session, which each RunningWorks
program has following the run/walk. 

This time, I was honored to lead the life skill discussion on surrounding yourself with positive people in order to create the right team for success! RunningWorks provides such mentors 
for these young adults.

Visiting the original RunningWorks program for homeless and disadvantaged men and women, which takes place every Tuesday and Friday at the Urban Ministry Center in downtown Charlotte--following the same curriculum of a run/walk followed by life skill discussions.

Supporting my good friend Meredith Dolhare in Salisbury, NC, as she launched another RunningWorks affiliate led by Stuart Perkins (right) with Rowan Helping Ministries two days a week. Here, she spoke to more than 300 volunteers about the importance of not only doing well in life, but "doing good" while you are at it--a concept I wholeheartedly subscribe to!

As always, thank you to my incredible sponsors: In the Arena, Brooks Running, Generation UCAN Nutrition, EC3D Sports, Hypoxico, Timex Sports, my chiropractor Dr. Murray McKinnon and ART/ physical therapist Justin Brillante at Drayer PT--for I owe much of my success to their support.