Attitude in the Midst of Adversity

“The stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind.”— Bruce Lee

“Adversity introduces a man to himself.” – Albert Einstein

The motto for my cross-country team in high school was “Attitude is Everything.” My mother (who was my coach) was a huge proponent of instilling this principle to our team members as running can often bring out the best and worst of all of us.  As cliché as our motto was, I learned that my attitude was really the only thing I could truly control in life.  I am responsible for how I react to both the good and bad things that happen to me.  Even when I was teaching, I strived to help my students realize that they had a choice every day to come into my class and have a “good” day, and if they did not—to strive to make the right choices to get back on track and keep moving forward towards the good day that is always within reach.  I have had my fair share of good and bad days in life, as well as my share of good and bad days with running.  Adversity surrounds all of us and anyone that has ever experienced success has also experienced adversity that comes along with it. 

In 2012, I moved to Bloomington, Indiana, to train with Team Indiana Elite.  This was my first experience moving outside the state of South Carolina, and was the first opportunity I had to train with a group of athletes who had aspirations of making the USA Olympic Team.  With all of these opportunities in front of me, there were many setbacks as well as I suffered my first extensive running injury—posterior tibial tendinitis in my right foot that sidelined me for eight weeks.  This injury took a toll on me in many ways—particularly mentally, as it was a nagging inhibitor that I was able to finally train through. During each and every stride I took, I could feel the lack of response in my foot, which cost a valuable spot at the 2012 Olympic Trials.  The cause of my injury at the time was unknown, but after much reflection I realized that excessive indoor running, i.e. double the turns and banked tracks, may have caused my tendon to flare up and become the chronic issue that plagued my season. 

Upon my return to South Carolina later in the summer of 2012, I was able to further rehabilitate my foot and ankle and have had virtually no issues the entire 2013 and 2014 campaigns.  My 2014 season was the worst of my professional career, and I made many changes in my life both personally and athletically to make 2015 my better.  I moved to Knoxville, work with a new children’s organization (KYA) and train full-time with my sights set on the 2015 World Championships and the Olympics in 2016.  However, after this indoor season where I ran seven races and three indoor workouts, my foot began to bother me again.  The swelling and pain were not as severe as in 2012, but I knew something was wrong as my foot and ankle were “out of sync” and I was not running with equal force production on both sides of my body.  After my trip to Colorado and my race at Payton Jordan, I returned to Charlotte, North Carolina, to train for a few days before heading out to the USATF Hoka One One Distance Classic.  I trained on schedule for a few days and became more and more frustrated as my foot was failing to respond. 

After expressing my concern with my friend Meredith Dolhare, she was able to set up an appointment here in Charlotte with Dr. Robert Anderson at the OrthoCarolina Foot and Ankle Institute.  He has performed foot surgeries on athletes of the caliber of Aaron Rodgers, Kevin Durant and Sonya Richards-Ross.  As he examined my foot and ankle he noticed that my ankle joint was virtually immobile and was causing major stress to my posterior tibial tendon that had been swelling and causing my foot to under-perform these last few months, possibly years.  He also noted that I would need an immediate MRI and that surgery was a high possibility to correct the problem with my foot that may include joint and tendon reconstruction.

I had the MRI on my foot and ankle today and will await the results of the scan imminently.  I love running, and I love learning.  And maybe I should have had an expert examine my foot some time ago.  I refuse to discount my dreams for this season and beyond.  Adversity is always the best teacher and best motivator.  I was frustrated and down quite a bit this week but think back and realize that many, many athletes suffer injuries and setbacks because this is sports and at any level the body is taking a beating training and competing.  I know that I am meant to run and that I am meant to run fast.  I want be my best and realize also that running does not define me or my success but that it is a part of me and helps me be my best.  Onwards. Upwards.