Finding Your Solace

My ultimate place of solace with In the Arena and Brooks Running

As 2015 is quickly coming to a close, I can honestly say that this will probably be my most memorable year. I, as I am sure many of you, hope that each year will be full of the best things life has to offer and that we will all become better versions of ourselves as we experience all that life brings over 365 days. I lived through some of the absolute best and worst moments of my life this year and am grateful for the times of learning and reflection that I hope to use to fuel me in 2016.

Below is a message that a loyal supporter sent to me a few weeks ago.  These heart-felt words describe how I want to feel and what my wish is for all of you in the upcoming New Year—a “meaning of life” statement that has changed my heart forever.

“Hi there Matt, I just finished reading your last blog entry. For some reason, earlier this morning I was thinking about you on my run. I want to share something with you (some things) that I don’t usually talk about. First of all, please don’t think that I am comparing myself to you, because I’m just a regular runner, not an elite athlete. But having followed your running career closely, and having read your interviews, and more recently your blog, I know you love running and that I can share with you. I have been running for 20 years, which is half my life, racing for the last 18. It is the single most important thing for me, I love it, I truly love my sport. Running gives me the best version of Anita. I am always a better person after I run. And yes, I am very competitive. I thrive on being able to stand on a starting line, even if I know I am not there to win the event. Running has helped me through several breakups, lost friendships, family quarrels, university, a master’s degree thesis, law school, bad days, awesome days, 20 Christmases, New Years and birthdays. But there was a hideous period of time when I couldn’t run. I got injured, and I did not want to stop running, it got progressively worse up to a point where I couldn’t run 5 minutes without pain. And I had knee surgery... then a second one, and a third. I had a string of doctors saying I should try swimming, because I would never run again. I remember a very famous coach here in Costa Rica (who wasn’t even my coach, just acquaintance) telling me that some people were not born to run. But I never gave up, because I knew that’s what I was born to do: run. It is that simple activity the one thing that makes everything all right. My coach never gave up on me either. We knew I’d be back. It was awful, it was heartbreaking, I was very angry at everything and everyone, especially at running. Then it happened. I started running again.... first walking 5 minutes and running 30 seconds... up to when I was running 10 minutes. Then 20. And so on. I learned to be grateful for running: 1 minute, 5 minutes, 20. I learned to be grateful for running at a 8 minutes per km pace, as much I was grateful for running at a 4:30/km pace. I was reminded of why I run. I got back to where I was, I became an even better runner. Most important, I became a better person. You will come back... a different Matthew I am sure, a better runner and I bet my life on this: you will be a better person. Running does that to us.”

Long time supporter—Ana Iris Paez

I want to thank my biggest supporters In the Arena and Brooks Running for allowing me to make connections like this one.  Running has allowed me to connect with so many people. I have always said that the “r” in running stands for relationships.  Almost 100% of the people I know and love so much today have been connected to me because of this sport. Running has changed my life, and I hope that you will invest yourself in something that changes you now and forevermore.  I want to thank all of you for sharing life with me through this blog this year.  I would not be where I am today without the encouragement and support I have received from the time and love you have given to me.  Onwards and Upwards to 2016!

Comeback

I wish I knew how to properly understand this word. And even more importantly, and albeit challenging, I wish and so strongly desire with all of the powers of my inner most being how to apply this word directly into my life. In essence, I would have thought this compound word was one of the most basic, simplistic creations of its kind.  However, the word “come” is actually rather complex as I found when I studied it for a brief time.  Its definition possesses three parts of speech: a verb, a preposition and a noun.  In the meaning I am seeking to decipher, “come” can be defined as “when a specified time or event happens.” All true things considered, the word “back” would also seem just as easy to understand.  However, “back” is slightly more complex than the word “come” as its meaning possesses four parts of speech: a noun, verb, adverb and adjective.  In the word “comeback”, the adverb form applies and can be defined as “expressing a return to an earlier or normal condition.”  The chaotic train of thought seen in the most elementary of words has led me to a state of struggle and feeling of uncertainty for the first time in my life.  Shall I digress?

I have been an athlete for the last 25 years.  I began playing baseball, “coaches’ pitch” to be exact, in Tabor City, NC, when I was in the first grade.  I loved sports and was always a competitive, contributing member of my teams.  Baseball was the main focus of my extracurricular life for the following seven years (along with piano lessons and enjoyable church children’s programs centering around music and service projects) and then the seed of running was planted for the first time in my life in middle school.  Although I was successful at every level of competition while attending Green Sea Floyds High School, I did not run fast—AT ALL—and remained injury free for the first time until I was 18 years old.  I was a freshman in college running cross-country for Presbyterian College and suffered a stress fracture in my left fibula bone about ½ inch above the ankle joint—a rather small four-to-six-week setback.  It wasn’t until I was 26 years old that I experienced what one would call a “career impacting injury” where I was sidelined for eight weeks as a member of Team Indiana Elite in January and February of 2012.  An injury that would rear its ugly head again in March of 2015 that leaves me at a point of confusion and disarray now in December.

Each of my prior injuries I described pre-surgery on June 1, 2015, impacted my life in very small ways in comparison to my current state.  I am sure my friend Jenni Bohn can remember the many hours we spent watching “Dancing with the Stars” with her sweet family in Bloomington as I tried to find some solace as to why my running journey would have taken a turn as soon as I had accomplished one of my most pivotal running goals to date—joining a professional running team.  This decision required me to quit my job, move out of state for the first time and solely devote my life to running and nothing else for the first time in my life.  After much reflection on those many dark days in 2012, they seem quite bright in comparison to my current daily mood.  Jenni and her family saved me that year and a golden opportunity arose later that summer in 2012 that changed my life forever as I was able to pursue a job as a full-time teacher back in the state I love the most.

Sorry to give a bit of my running biography here, but it is actually helping make some sense of why I am struggling today.  Flash forward to the Fall of 2014, after coming off the best season of my professional running career in 2013, I had the worst, most disastrous season imaginable (finishing off my European racing season with a 4:20 mile) and relinquishing some sanity due to the fact that my mind and mojo were essentially the only major injured pieces of my body at the time. Then another change occurred in my life—AGAIN.  I took an opportunity to move to Knoxville, TN, where I focused on running again full-time, but balanced the life change with giving back to a local youth track club that helped take the stress and pressure associated with thoughts of constantly “making it happen” and “me, me, me” off the table in my investment with so many young runners.  What ensued was a new era of fitness and an indoor track season that any rising pro would have taken in a heartbeat and then…it all vanished. 

My foot started bothering me for the first time all indoor season at the 2015 Indoor National Championship pre-meet tune-up.  It began to swell and feel like it did in 2012 for the first time in almost three years, but I was able to complete the race and the following months were filled with question marks. Several other life-altering events took place that I have yet to figure out how to handle.  Ultimately, there have been many days and many hours that I have spent wondering if a “comeback” is something I am capable of.  Of course, virtually 100% of the greatest athletes in any sport have had to overcome injury at some point in their careers.  But “HOW THE HELL DID THEY DO IT?”  I would love to know because I had a vision of getting back to running on September 1 and it is now December 3 and I am not in much greater standing than I was then. 

I know that setback is many times synonymous with comeback. I know that recovering from surgery is not easy. I know that there are so many people who have had or are currently experiencing far more devastating circumstances than I.  But that doesn’t make it any easier to run—to run free, to run fast, to experience the joy that only running can bring. Please don’t pity me, trust me, you shouldn’t. I have all the tools and resources necessary to begin this journey that I know I am meant to take once again.  I just need to see the light at the end of the tunnel that just isn’t as bright as I’d like it to be.  I saw a quote while driving in uptown Charlotte early this week that struck me in a unique way: “There isn’t a day of the week called someday.” I just hope my illusion of someday will become today or tomorrow or maybe even the next day—soon.

My New Family: A Family of Choice

RunningWorks Team pre Thunder Road Marathon with 5 full marathoners and 6 half marathoners

Time after time, I have written about the important role my family plays in my life. The stability I’ve always found at home has been the initial driving force for my success and happiness as a person and an athlete. That is why I am so excited to share this passion with a new family, a family I feel very much a vital part of now and who I would miss terribly on any given day just like I do my own. Now, don’t get too worried that I am abandoning my family of origin! I have simply found a purpose greater than myself with RunningWorks in Charlotte, North Carolina, and I am really looking forward to spending my first Thanksgiving with these special individuals.

For those of you who are not privy to who my RunningWorks family is, most of our men, women and children aged four to 60 years are homeless, jobless, severely impoverished or suffering from abuse, abandonment or neglect of some kind. The very fact that they choose to spend their time with us is a gift: a gift of time and trust that we will mentor them in their path to better lives. Trust is not something to be taken with a grain of salt with this population, and I am honored to among the few who get to spend time with all of them on a daily basis, let alone the upcoming Thanksgiving Holiday.

At RunningWorks, we speak often during our life skill sessions about “family of choice” since many of our men, women and children have been forsaken by those many of us hold most dear. Thanksgiving is a time I have spent in reverie with my own family grateful for what an incredible gift God has given me. Take for one moment and imagine a life on the streets, in a shelter, severely disadvantaged—or all of the above and completely estranged from your family on a day celebrated for kinship. For some, it causes depression and loneliness.

Since its inception three years ago, RunningWorks has offered a solution to the solitude of Thanksgiving for its team members with several options, which are open to everyone on the team at all its programs. I am so excited to be a part of the fourth annual Thanksgiving activities with my new family of choice. This Thursday, we have been invited to the University of North Carolina at Charlotte’s (UNCC) Center City campus for a homemade feast prepared by its faculty and staff for all Community Works programs from the Urban Ministry Center where our program was founded. This includes homeless men and women from RunningWorks, StreetSoccer945, as well as art, choir and gardening. From what I have heard, it is quite magical and even includes a choir, which I will love! Charlotte never ceases to amaze me with their effort to make the homeless feel “a part of” the city rather than outcasts despite what you may read.

Thanksgiving 2014 at RW's Program Director Laura Foust's soup kitchen

On Thanksgiving Day, we will have a feast at our RW Program Director Laura Foust’s regular weekly soup kitchen, where she is the chef every Thursday at St. Mark’s Lutheran Church. They make our team feel special each year with a huge table set for 40-plus, flowers and blue-and-white napkins, etc. (our RW colors). To give a frame of reference, Chuck, a RW regular and team member since April 2012 who recently moved to D.C. for the winter since he is not “shelter eligible” here in Charlotte, made the trek home to us so he could run the Thunder Road Marathon with eleven RunningWorks teammates this past weekend and stay to spend Thanksgiving with his “family”. Those were his priorities and he was dead set on getting here.

Chuck at "The Wall", mile 20 Thunder Road Marathon

It really made an impression. Not only did it blow me away that Chuck completed his second marathon in two consecutive years yesterday (after having run the half marathon in 2013!), but also that he is one of the key organizers of our festivities in the coming weeks. He wants it to be special. He is intent on everyone being there and cared for and loved. Upon meeting Chuck last year, I never would have thought him to be the sentimental type. He has been on the street for eight years and is kind of a loner; yet, there is a spring in his step right now making me the most grateful I have been in a long time. I am more assured than ever that running works.

Happy Thanksgiving from our Family to Yours!

#RWTeam post marathon exhausted but still loving each other in Romare Bearden Park

No Greater Joy...

CCDS Bucs State Championship XC Team

            The last 14 weeks have flown by faster than I ever imagined.  After my surgery and time completely off in the months of June and July, August came and brought a type of joy I have never experienced before—my first team coaching experience.  I have helped many individuals with their running over the years and volunteered with various teams and groups of runners.  However, working with the Charlotte Country Day School cross-country team brought a fresh, new experience for me as a runner that I will take with me for the rest of my life.

            Coaching in a team setting is a very complex, challenging task.  The amount of moving parts and pieces to the overall team puzzle that factor into daily practices and weekly competitions are very hard to explain unless you have coached a team of your own.  Luckily, I am part of a coaching staff that has a mix of personalities and skills that helped make our team a unit, and solidified opportunities for me to learn and grow virtually every day at practice.  The planning and time spent trying to help each individual athlete reach his or her full potential was a mental battle that I have never experienced myself as an athlete.  A coach can only want so much for his athlete to succeed, and the rest is left up to the individual to take it upon herself to carry the rest of the weight of the task at hand. 

            Competing is why I love being an athlete.  The races are the test that measure the product of the plan and course of action in an athlete’s daily commitment to the sport.  The coach guides this process and the product is out of the coach’s hand as the day of the race approaches.  This fact is what makes the sport of running so beautiful to me.  I can’t do anything for my athletes on the day of the race except instill the confidence in them that I know they are ready to perform.

            Our final test of this 2015 XC season was on Friday at the State Championship cross-country meet here in Charlotte, North Carolina--on our home course at McAlpine Creek Park.  We compete in the 3A division of the North Carolina Independent Schools Athletic Association (NCISAA).  There were 21 teams that competed in each of the boys and girls championship races.  The CCDS boys team was ranked 9^th and the CCDS girls team was ranked 7^th going into Friday’s meet.  Cross-Country is a very unique sport in the fact that every place in the race matters, every runner is important, and every second can make or break your teams’ success.  A prime example of this was shown in the results of our two teams at the state meet.  Our boys finished 7^th as a team with 185 points, however, both the 5^th and 6^th place teams had a score of 184.  We tied our highest finish ever as a team at the state meet, but just two points separated up from the elite top 5 spots in the state.  Our girls team finished 11^th as a team with 250 points, however the 9^th and 10^th place teams each had 247 points.  Although we had some injury and sickness that plagued our girls’ team late in the season, only 3 points separated us from a final top 10 ranking. 

Junior Ella Dunn kicking to a 3rd place overall finish with a time of 19:12.

            I cannot express or put into words how proud I am of our team.  The first time trial of the season in August had me thinking that it would have been great progress to just field a team on both sides that just finished the 5k distance, and we proved that we can compete with some of the best teams in the state by season's end.  I hope that our athletes learned about training and taking care of their bodies this season.  I hope that our athletes learned how to push themselves beyond what their minds thought they could achieve.  But most importantly, it was beautiful to see this group transformed as actual runners within a few short months--truly enjoying the sport and working towards a goal greater than themselves individually and as a team. I know I will carry this piece of the sport with me forever--these months with my fellow coaches as well as the boys and girls of Charlotte Country Day School--and I cannot wait until 2016 for XC season to kick-off once again.  The Bucs will be in force greater than ever before, and I will be lucky enough to have a front row seat. Go Bucs!

Starting Over

            

          The month of October has always been special to me these last few years.  October the 1st normally marks the start of the beginning of a new season and training begins to build for the next year with the same focus—competing well at a national championship.  This October has been no different, although many things in my life have changed—as has my running.  I am now living in a new place, have a new job, and have a whole new challenge that I have never experienced before with running—starting over.  My posterior tibial surgery is the first injury of my career that has completely halted my running and overall way of life.  I feel like a freshman in high school as I begin running and preparing for the 2016 season.  Every run feels new, every workout seems foreign and the recovery process and lifestyle I had worked so hard to create feels like a challenge I am far away from conquering.  One thing that will help in the revitalization of my running career is experience, which is ironic because in the past, experience at the professional level was my biggest weakness as an athlete. 

            Now any prior experience will be more vital than ever before as I am just a few short weeks away from resuming a normal training routine.  The first eight-to-ten weeks of physical therapy were very tedious—both physically and mentally.  I never thought I could work so hard and only reap the smallest of gains.  However, these last three weeks have clicked in a way that have given me hope that my ankle will be able to perform better than ever.  It was only two weeks ago that I was able to run 15-20 minutes on a treadmill and go on two, four-mile walks outside per week.  Last week, I ran seven times, including one track workout (12x400), two physical therapy sessions and one four-mile walk.  A huge hurdle in rebuilding anything from surgery is strength.  My largest challenge, however, has been endurance.  The progression has been quite amazing as intensity and volume have increased over time to a point where I no longer need to ice my foot daily, and I am no longer sore walking around the house after a day on my feet. Our bodies truly are a beautiful creation, and I have been astounded at the fact that mine can rebuild and come back from seemingly nothing.  Honestly, running four-minute miles has no comparison to coming back from injury.  Being stuck in the darkness of recovery has been an invaluable tool for sparking the drive I will need to reach all of my goals this coming year.

            Despite my injury and time away from running, I have still been blessed with so many opportunities to stay connected with the sport I love the most.  Rock Hill, South Carolina, is where my running career was jumpstarted in 2008 thanks to Coach Ben Paxton and Winthrop University.  I had the opportunity this past Saturday to share a run and fellowship with some major advocates for our sport at Swim, Bike and Run—a specialty store for all athletes in this downtown location.  This family owned store has a strong community focus and was the perfect place for me to rekindle my relationship with a city I shared life with for eight years.  Thank you to all who came out to run and listen to my story of how running has changed my life. It was very special to go back to the town where I realized I had the potential really run fast and compete at the highest level.

            I am thankful for all the help I have had in getting back to full health and I am so grateful that I can do the thing I love most again.  As I start my training, I cannot help but think about how much I have changed over these last four months, and how much I have grown as a person.  Even though I have not been physically running at a high level, I know that my experiences will help fuel me in ways that I would have never been able to imagine in full health.  I wish injury on no one, but the ways in which I appreciate the sport of running, training and racing will never be taken for granted.  In the midst of sitting of the couch in a cast, struggling though the first weeks of therapy and dealing with the frustrations (and anger...yes, I get angry!) of being injured will be life lessons I will take with me forever.  Knowing that I can overcome these challenges through running will help me as my scope on life has been altered in a way that has only made me a stronger more determined individual.  Onwards and Upwards.  RunHappy—I know I will more now than ever before.

Race Recaps

          

RunningWorks team at the LungStrong 15k

          As the professional track circuit came to a close earlier last month, many pros are now recovering from a long season of travel and competition.  Social media has shown many of my fellow competitors enjoying their “break” from running with family and friends, and some have even allowed other sports and activities to become a part of their lives for a short time.  Next year, I hope to be recapping my own season full of success, and I am looking forward to my first road race back: The Run For Attention 5k, which benefits The Palmetto School where I worked as a teacher for six years.  Not only that, planning for 2016 has begun, and that lights a fire in my belly to be able to train full-time very soon. Considering I need to be running sub four-minute miles again by January, I had better get busy! On the home front, I have been completely engulfed in racing in a much different way as I have had the opportunity to share in the many successes and trials that racing brings with the athletes I coach.

First day running w/team and some fool tried to race me!

            The Charlotte Country Day XC team has been in the heart of the regular season schedule this past month.  We have competed in many events in the Charlotte area including several home meets at the famed McAlpine Creek Greenway cross country course here in Charlotte.  Our athletes have shown major improvements in season best times throughout these last weeks, and many of our younger runners have experienced the joy of multiple personal best times.  Coaching has taught me so much. Watching other runners push themselves has motivated me in a unique way despite the fact that I cannot run every day quite yet.  Coaching has frustrated me, also, because so many of our athletes have incredible potential but have not developed the discipline to training on their own outside of practice, and have not yet learned how to push themselves and compete at their highest level.  One of the most critical factors in my personal success as an athlete has been my heart.  I love to race, love to train and have invested myself in every way I know how to be my best.  I don’t expect our team to think like me, I just want them to get the most out of what they are doing with the time we have.  I love the process of coaching and all the challenges and joy it brings.  There is really nothing else like it!

#CCDSxc Girls Team pre-race at Charlotte Latin School

            RunningWorks has had some competitive opportunities of their own, also, as many of our athletes were able to compete and volunteer in one brand new race in addition to one of our biggest races of the year this past weekend.  The Rookie Run was one of the most unique races I have ever been a part of as the whole race was designed to give new runners an opportunity to compete in their first ever race.  Several of our long-time athletes were able to partner with first time racers as a “buddy” for the run and helped encouraged those who are new to this sport.  Watching our athletes was truly poetry in motion at this event, and our program at Charlotte Rescue Mission had 15 women who are in recovery run their first 5k. The joy they experienced was priceless as the crossed the finish line.  This race was a victory for them not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well as they conquered what seemed an impossible task. They gained wisdom that they will most definitely carry over to their daily life and recovery.  Running has been one of my greatest teachers, and seeing these women transform from just one race was something like I have never experienced before.

The Rookie Run: Day 1 of our two day RW race weekend*

            Our second race of the weekend was a race where RunningWorks was a primary beneficiary—the LungStrong 15k/5k.  We had a few athletes compete here, but our main focus as a team was to volunteer at this event.  We had stations manned at registration, parking, course monitors, finish line and with race set up and tear down. You name it—RunningWorks got the job done—not to mention rallying over 100 volunteers to make this event a success.  One of the most significant pieces of the RW mission is giving back and paying it forward—no handouts, everything earned.  We love running, racing, having “family-style” meals and traveling places as a team, but nothing can compare to what happens when someone who has virtually nothing to give in the material world gives all that he or she has with heart.

LungStrong 15k: Day 2 of our two day RW race weekend*

            I am a blessed individual.  I know I say that a lot and it sounds really cliché.  But I really am.  I am a part of two organizations who get it.  Organizations who are not scared to get their hands dirty. Organizations who have no concept of time—the job must get done regardless! I know I am where I am supposed to be in life.  I get to do something I love every single day.

The RunningWorks team at "family-style" dinner pre LungStrong 15k

*Videos prepared by Michaela Duckett, RunningWorks Director of Development

Parenting 101 for Me

            

          I have always desired a family of my own.  Then I became a teacher and those plans changed.  Haha! Just kidding, but being a classroom teacher at the elementary school level teaches you that when you are responsible for a child—or multiple children, there are certain stressors present daily that only young children can bring to the table.  I have always loved working with children. I love being around them. I love the way they think and view the world, and I love being a part of when they learn something new. There are only phrases that children can come up with and a sense of humor they possess that has an entirely new meaning after riding in a car for only a few minutes.  This past week, I learned the meaning of the word “parent”, and have an entirely new respect for what they have to do every day on multiple levels.  I still want a family of my own.  But, I now understand that the most rewarding job—most difficult job—in THIS ENTIRE WORLD is parenting and raising a child. I am talking super-hero status, people!

            Circumstances in life and the opportunity to continue to serve as a member of the staff at RunningWorks presented a unique eye-opening experience for me this past week.  I am a temporary “Dad” of sorts.  Three out of the last four nights I have had the opportunity to help two children under the age of six live life on life’s terms.  Teaching school has its routine and structured plan for the day, but home life is a whole other story.  Starting the day, getting dressed, brushing teeth, eating breakfast, getting to the car has a whole new meaning.  Ending the day with structure, a healthy meal at the same time, bedtime, bath-time and stories is paramount. It is so interesting and mind-boggling how much support and love children need every single minute of the day.  And the funny thing is that these particular children are easy.  They are happy, they are polite, they love “Uncle Matt”, and they are just down right remarkable.  I wish I could explain the feeling I get from just being around them.

            Doing what I do on a daily basis is cool and all, but caring for these children has really taught me that there is so much more to life than my schedule and my agenda. I am so thankful to In the Arena and its call for me as an athlete to actually “get in the arena” with young people.  

"In the Arena" plus RunningWorks missions mixed in uptown Charlotte

          RunningWorks goes far beyond its mission statement and the generalization surrounding the nature of its “running” programs. This organization has fueled an opportunity for me to be on the front lines helping people of all ages who have needs of the highest priority—needs that can change lives permanently forever if direct action is taken.  Have you ever truly helped someone who was in dire straights whose life may go north or south depending on what you do? I am not trying to say that I need to win the Nobel Peace Prize here or anything, but I do truly get now what it means to actually help someone.  It is uncomfortable. It is stressful.  It makes you ask questions and think in ways I never would have in my own little world. It has caused me to make sacrifices I never thought I could or would make. If you had asked me one year ago if this is what I would be doing to serve others today, I can promise you my answer would be in the negative; however, there is nothing I would rather be doing. It is not all about me, and I am so looking forward to applying what I have learned in this interim to my racing.

            I can honestly say that I am a different person today than I was yesterday. I have tried to live my life like that for so long—always trying to be better tomorrow than I was today. I have always loved teaching and realized from the beginning of my teaching career that my students were teaching me way more than I was teaching them, and here I am at home saying the same thing! So today, I am thankful for my parents, thankful for RunningWorks, and thankful for the time I’ve given to actually really help someone the in the direst of straits. Fight the good fight for someone else today—I promise you won’t regret it. Onwards and Upwards.

           

The Next Chapter—Big 3-0

          

Celebrating life with my RunningWorks family at the Charlotte Knights baseball game

          Often I get so focused on the things I want to do and forget what I have done in the past. I have been a part of so many good things in my life. I have been blessed more than anyone deserves. I have had so much help from others and shared life with many people from different walks of life. With running, I am so focused on the little things I need to do to get better, but in the larger picture of life I tend to block out the little details and a sort of tunnel vision solidifies my train of thought.  I find myself not enjoying a moment because my mind is not fully committed to the task at hand. I often get frustrated when I reminisce with friends or loved ones and they bring up a story or talk about an event we attended and I can’t remember what we did or how I felt.  As they talk, the emotions gradually come back and I find myself in that moment of joy being described, and wish I could have been the one to initiate that conversation.  Life passes by so quickly and even the stressful and exhilarating moments get mashed into one black hole if we allow it.

            With all that said, I am turning 30-years-old on Tuesday.  I apologize if that first paragraph was a bit depressing, but as I try to think back on these last 30 years, I know so many positive things have happened in my life but I can’t recall all of them on command.  I have tried to write a blog previously and I have never been good at journaling, but I am so thankful for the opportunity I have with In the Arena to get my thoughts down on paper every fortnight.  The time I spend writing this blog is therapeutic—even though the hope is that others read it and feel free to express their own beliefs, that it is a catalyst for their own thoughts.  I used to really care about the statistics involved and if other people thought my writing was “good”, but now I am thankful that I have a real avenue to express how I feel. I don’t think I can put a price on how much personal growth and maturity I have been able to achieve from really sitting down and thinking about my life.  It is as simple as that—our lives matter and one way to really assess where we are, where we have been and where we want to go is to actually take the time to THINK!

Celebrating my birthday by going to the Chris Brown concert in Atlanta with Mer Dolhare

            So I guess I am officially a “real” adult now, even though most people say I don’t look like one.  I don’t have a job like a normal adult. I talk to my mother too much according to some, and others may say I haven’t had much life experience yet because I am still so young.  But my life is my life, and I am proud of what I have become, who I know and those that have sacrificed so much to love and mold me.  Trust me, 30 is not the new 20.  It is just 30.  I plan to grow more this year, love more this year and be better than I ever thought I could be.  Onwards and Upwards. Remember to celebrate life every single day.

Celebrating fellow RW staff Sophie's birthday this past Friday

Full Swing

            As school has started for many of our area students this past week, I cannot help but reflect upon my time as a teacher.  I miss it.  I miss my classroom. I miss my fellow teachers and principal.  I miss the stress of the schedule that only an elementary school environment can produce.  I miss the reward of seeing a young child light up when something “clicks”.  I miss being a part of a greater purpose that you can only find in a school—even more so when that school becomes a part of who you are.  I am thankful for my time at The Palmetto School and wish everyone there all the best as they press forward into the 2015-16 school term.

            Charlotte Country Day School starts this Wednesday and this past week of cross-country has been a whirlwind.  This was the fourth week of official practice and we concluded the week with our first competition—a two-mile preview meet here in Charlotte yesterday.  I have been involved with running in many different facets since my surgery June 1, but this first time back at a race made me really miss what I love to do most.  This meet was small—only seven teams—but the wet grass, seeing everyone in spikes, music blaring, teammates screaming—it all brought back so many memories that helped remind me how unique our sport is.  We have a team filled with young runners, many who competed in their first official race.  Here is a short recap from our head coach Allison Brown as she highlighted the success of our team in a great way:

“We had a full, fun week, including a great course preview practice at Myers Park High School on Friday, followed by the Charlotte Running Company Mecklenburg County XC 2 Mile Preview Meet at Myers Park High School Saturday morning. For some of our runners, this was their first meet ever, and I am proud of you all! Ella Dunn, in her first ever cross country race, finished 7^th overall in the junior/senior girls race, with teammate Molly Mazeine close behind her in 11^th place. In the junior/senior boys race, Alex Domeier finished 13^th with Peter Mitchell right behind him in 15^th place. In the freshmen/sophomore boys race, Jake Morris finished 12^th, Benjamin Whetstone 15^th and Max Gilbert 17^th.

The actual distance of the course was 2.1 miles (about 3400m). The results are also posted online at http://racesonline.com/events/charlotte-running-company-cross-country-run/results/2015-xc-preview/dashboard, and I’ll have a hard copy of all the results at practice on Monday.

I’d also like to give a shout out to Country Day rising 8^th grader Sophie Spada who earned first place overall female in the open 5k at 8am with a time of 21:34.9, which is fantastic on Myers Park’s hilly course. Well done, Sophie!”

Charlotte Country Day XC Team at their first race.

Please follow our team on twitter this season @CCDSXCountry for many more promising updates as our season gets into full swing September 1.

            RunningWorks also had one of their signature races of the year on Saturday as well—The OrthoCarolina Classic 10k/5k.  RunningWorks was one of the focus charities for this event and over 1000 runners participated in one of Charlotte’s most popular summer races.  RW was charged with manning the course monitors for the event and we had several athletes compete in the 10k and 5k races on an unusually cool Saturday morning in August.  One of my “team” members, PerformanceTherapy of Charlotte, was a title sponsor for the race. Mike is truly one of the best at his trade and we at RunningWorks are forever grateful for his support.

Meredith Dolhare, Mike Danenberg, and myself at the OrthoCarolina Classic.

            Life is good. I love what I do.  Therapy is going extremely well and I may get to take my first running steps in almost four months at the end of next week. Every day, I am surrounded by runners: the people I love most are runners, those I coach are runners, and those I serve are runners. I cannot wait to feel the joy they have been experiencing again very soon. I have received many gifts in this life, but none can compare to influence and impact running has had on me.  Full-time training is on the horizon.  My body is ready. My mind is ready. And most importantly, my heart is ready to do the thing I love the most once again.

Coach Matt's New Perspective

Coach Matt explains what an interval means to Charlotte Country Day XC Team.

            Since my surgery ten weeks ago, I have had the chance to reflect upon my life in many ways.  I have been able to think about so many changes and opportunities that I have had and how life is constantly moving forward.  The funny thing about life is that is moves whether we are prepared or not, and the choices we make directly affect its turns.  I have always been a planner.  I am a person who has focused on THEIR personal plan and strived to direct MY life in the way in which I want to achieve MY personal goals.  Many of my goals have been athletic ones, as running has become a lifestyle choice that has colored essentially 100% of the decisions I have made these last eight years.  Running has opened so many doors for me and given me a road to success not only on the track but also with health, relationships and even a way to make a living for myself.  However, these last two months my mind has shifted away from running in a unique way.  Since I haven’t been able to exercise, I find myself not even thinking about running unless someone asks me about my foot and how it is doing.  I find myself not wanting to cross-train or do anything really to start building fitness.  I haven’t really exercised at all in the last three months and in a weird way feel content about that.  I haven’t given up on running—trust me—I have just invested my time in other areas and it is actually quite a relief to know that I can function outside of my own athletic performance and drive.

            I have been in Charlotte for some time now.  It seems everywhere that life has taken me I have, for some reason, been blessed with time and the ability to always be connected to other runners.  I have tried to invest myself in helping others with their running and that has brought me more joy than any personal athletic accomplishment I have ever had.  Helping people as “Coach Matt”, instead of the sub-4 minute professional miler is actually exhilarating.  Letting people get to know me for who I am instead of what I have accomplished as a runner brings a peace to my life.  Seeing people who you have helped become more intrinsically motivated and successful for themselves from using a piece of advice that you have been able to pass on creates a high for me like nothing else.  I would be nothing without the impact of other people in my life.  I would have never been fast, never gotten strong or been able to mentally handle professional level training and racing on my own.  Luckily, I am a person who respected those who have tried to help me with the highest regard and established a family with those who have sacrificed so much for me that will last my lifetime.

            RunningWorks and the Charlotte Country Day Cross Country team have been my saving graces, along with Meredith Dolhare who has helped keep my head above water at home.  She is the founder of RunningWorks but more importantly my best friend.  The main reason I have been able to stay connected to running is because of her and she has paved the way for me to be a mentor to so many people from so many walks of life.  She is the only woman who has ever reminded me of my mother—a “Kim-Possible” type of lady.  She can do anything.   She has done everything. And she will stop at nothing to get the job done.  She has challenged me to be a better person and very few people in my life outside of my immediate family have ever done that. 

My RunningWorks family touring a new program.

            Cross-country practice officially started two weeks ago and I cannot tell you how excited I am to be a part of a team again.  Training on my own and traveling to races by myself for much of my career has not been nearly as fun and rewarding as it has been to have help and support from others.  Knoxville Youth Athletics gave me a team in Tennessee along with my roommate Gabe and strength coach Greg.  Charlotte Country Day and RunningWorks will be my family here in Charlotte.  Pictured below are my new family members—the ones who will support me and who I will have the pleasure of sharing life with in this next chapter.  Malachi is a RunningWorks team member who has so much promise and potential.  Unfortunately this last week he was in a near fatal car crash shattering his hip leaving him immobile for the next three months.  Meredith and the RW team sprung directly in to action and have supported him relentlessly throughout his hospital stay and will be by his side every step of the way on his road to recovery. 

            Opportunities like the ones I will be undertaking this fall are what make my world spin on its axis.  Life is so much more than running, but my life would be nothing without it.  I want to thank In the Arena, Brooks Running and all of you who have supported me and encouraged me in my time away from the competitive side of the sport.  I have probably learned more from not running a step in over 12 weeks than I ever did running 10-12 times per week over the last three years.  I will take my first stride this month and I cannot wait to see how my perspective has changed and how much more driven I will be—to be more than I ever thought I could be.  Onwards and Upwards!

Malachi and I in the hospital in Columbia, SC.