Often
I get so focused on the things I want to do and forget what I have done in the
past. I have been a part of so many good things in my life. I have been blessed
more than anyone deserves. I have had so much help from others and shared life
with many people from different walks of life. With running, I am so focused on
the little things I need to do to get better, but in the larger picture of life
I tend to block out the little details and a sort of tunnel vision solidifies
my train of thought. I find myself
not enjoying a moment because my mind is not fully committed to the task at
hand. I often get frustrated when I reminisce with friends or loved ones and
they bring up a story or talk about an event we attended and I can’t remember what
we did or how I felt. As they
talk, the emotions gradually come back and I find myself in that moment of joy
being described, and wish I could have been the one to initiate that
conversation. Life passes by so
quickly and even the stressful and exhilarating moments get mashed into one
black hole if we allow it.
With
all that said, I am turning 30-years-old on Tuesday. I apologize if that first paragraph was a bit depressing,
but as I try to think back on these last 30 years, I know so many positive
things have happened in my life but I can’t recall all of them on command. I have tried to write a blog previously
and I have never been good at journaling, but I am so thankful for the opportunity
I have with In the Arena to get my thoughts down on paper every fortnight. The time I spend writing this blog is
therapeutic—even though the hope is that others read it and feel free to
express their own beliefs, that it is a catalyst for their own thoughts. I used to really care about the
statistics involved and if other people thought my writing was “good”, but now
I am thankful that I have a real avenue to express how I feel. I don’t think I
can put a price on how much personal growth and maturity I have been able to
achieve from really sitting down and thinking about my life. It is as simple as that—our lives matter
and one way to really assess where we are, where we have been and where we want
to go is to actually take the time to THINK!
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| Celebrating my birthday by going to the Chris Brown concert in Atlanta with Mer Dolhare |
So
I guess I am officially a “real” adult now, even though most people say I don’t
look like one. I don’t have a job
like a normal adult. I talk to my mother too much according to some, and others
may say I haven’t had much life experience yet because I am still so young. But my life is my life, and I am proud
of what I have become, who I know and those that have sacrificed so much to
love and mold me. Trust me, 30 is
not the new 20. It is just
30. I plan to grow more this year,
love more this year and be better than I ever thought I could be. Onwards and Upwards. Remember to
celebrate life every single day.
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| Celebrating fellow RW staff Sophie's birthday this past Friday |
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