Parenting 101 for Me

            

          I have always desired a family of my own.  Then I became a teacher and those plans changed.  Haha! Just kidding, but being a classroom teacher at the elementary school level teaches you that when you are responsible for a child—or multiple children, there are certain stressors present daily that only young children can bring to the table.  I have always loved working with children. I love being around them. I love the way they think and view the world, and I love being a part of when they learn something new. There are only phrases that children can come up with and a sense of humor they possess that has an entirely new meaning after riding in a car for only a few minutes.  This past week, I learned the meaning of the word “parent”, and have an entirely new respect for what they have to do every day on multiple levels.  I still want a family of my own.  But, I now understand that the most rewarding job—most difficult job—in THIS ENTIRE WORLD is parenting and raising a child. I am talking super-hero status, people!

            Circumstances in life and the opportunity to continue to serve as a member of the staff at RunningWorks presented a unique eye-opening experience for me this past week.  I am a temporary “Dad” of sorts.  Three out of the last four nights I have had the opportunity to help two children under the age of six live life on life’s terms.  Teaching school has its routine and structured plan for the day, but home life is a whole other story.  Starting the day, getting dressed, brushing teeth, eating breakfast, getting to the car has a whole new meaning.  Ending the day with structure, a healthy meal at the same time, bedtime, bath-time and stories is paramount. It is so interesting and mind-boggling how much support and love children need every single minute of the day.  And the funny thing is that these particular children are easy.  They are happy, they are polite, they love “Uncle Matt”, and they are just down right remarkable.  I wish I could explain the feeling I get from just being around them.

            Doing what I do on a daily basis is cool and all, but caring for these children has really taught me that there is so much more to life than my schedule and my agenda. I am so thankful to In the Arena and its call for me as an athlete to actually “get in the arena” with young people.  

"In the Arena" plus RunningWorks missions mixed in uptown Charlotte

          RunningWorks goes far beyond its mission statement and the generalization surrounding the nature of its “running” programs. This organization has fueled an opportunity for me to be on the front lines helping people of all ages who have needs of the highest priority—needs that can change lives permanently forever if direct action is taken.  Have you ever truly helped someone who was in dire straights whose life may go north or south depending on what you do? I am not trying to say that I need to win the Nobel Peace Prize here or anything, but I do truly get now what it means to actually help someone.  It is uncomfortable. It is stressful.  It makes you ask questions and think in ways I never would have in my own little world. It has caused me to make sacrifices I never thought I could or would make. If you had asked me one year ago if this is what I would be doing to serve others today, I can promise you my answer would be in the negative; however, there is nothing I would rather be doing. It is not all about me, and I am so looking forward to applying what I have learned in this interim to my racing.

            I can honestly say that I am a different person today than I was yesterday. I have tried to live my life like that for so long—always trying to be better tomorrow than I was today. I have always loved teaching and realized from the beginning of my teaching career that my students were teaching me way more than I was teaching them, and here I am at home saying the same thing! So today, I am thankful for my parents, thankful for RunningWorks, and thankful for the time I’ve given to actually really help someone the in the direst of straits. Fight the good fight for someone else today—I promise you won’t regret it. Onwards and Upwards.

           

The Next Chapter—Big 3-0

          

Celebrating life with my RunningWorks family at the Charlotte Knights baseball game

          Often I get so focused on the things I want to do and forget what I have done in the past. I have been a part of so many good things in my life. I have been blessed more than anyone deserves. I have had so much help from others and shared life with many people from different walks of life. With running, I am so focused on the little things I need to do to get better, but in the larger picture of life I tend to block out the little details and a sort of tunnel vision solidifies my train of thought.  I find myself not enjoying a moment because my mind is not fully committed to the task at hand. I often get frustrated when I reminisce with friends or loved ones and they bring up a story or talk about an event we attended and I can’t remember what we did or how I felt.  As they talk, the emotions gradually come back and I find myself in that moment of joy being described, and wish I could have been the one to initiate that conversation.  Life passes by so quickly and even the stressful and exhilarating moments get mashed into one black hole if we allow it.

            With all that said, I am turning 30-years-old on Tuesday.  I apologize if that first paragraph was a bit depressing, but as I try to think back on these last 30 years, I know so many positive things have happened in my life but I can’t recall all of them on command.  I have tried to write a blog previously and I have never been good at journaling, but I am so thankful for the opportunity I have with In the Arena to get my thoughts down on paper every fortnight.  The time I spend writing this blog is therapeutic—even though the hope is that others read it and feel free to express their own beliefs, that it is a catalyst for their own thoughts.  I used to really care about the statistics involved and if other people thought my writing was “good”, but now I am thankful that I have a real avenue to express how I feel. I don’t think I can put a price on how much personal growth and maturity I have been able to achieve from really sitting down and thinking about my life.  It is as simple as that—our lives matter and one way to really assess where we are, where we have been and where we want to go is to actually take the time to THINK!

Celebrating my birthday by going to the Chris Brown concert in Atlanta with Mer Dolhare

            So I guess I am officially a “real” adult now, even though most people say I don’t look like one.  I don’t have a job like a normal adult. I talk to my mother too much according to some, and others may say I haven’t had much life experience yet because I am still so young.  But my life is my life, and I am proud of what I have become, who I know and those that have sacrificed so much to love and mold me.  Trust me, 30 is not the new 20.  It is just 30.  I plan to grow more this year, love more this year and be better than I ever thought I could be.  Onwards and Upwards. Remember to celebrate life every single day.

Celebrating fellow RW staff Sophie's birthday this past Friday

Full Swing

            As school has started for many of our area students this past week, I cannot help but reflect upon my time as a teacher.  I miss it.  I miss my classroom. I miss my fellow teachers and principal.  I miss the stress of the schedule that only an elementary school environment can produce.  I miss the reward of seeing a young child light up when something “clicks”.  I miss being a part of a greater purpose that you can only find in a school—even more so when that school becomes a part of who you are.  I am thankful for my time at The Palmetto School and wish everyone there all the best as they press forward into the 2015-16 school term.

            Charlotte Country Day School starts this Wednesday and this past week of cross-country has been a whirlwind.  This was the fourth week of official practice and we concluded the week with our first competition—a two-mile preview meet here in Charlotte yesterday.  I have been involved with running in many different facets since my surgery June 1, but this first time back at a race made me really miss what I love to do most.  This meet was small—only seven teams—but the wet grass, seeing everyone in spikes, music blaring, teammates screaming—it all brought back so many memories that helped remind me how unique our sport is.  We have a team filled with young runners, many who competed in their first official race.  Here is a short recap from our head coach Allison Brown as she highlighted the success of our team in a great way:

“We had a full, fun week, including a great course preview practice at Myers Park High School on Friday, followed by the Charlotte Running Company Mecklenburg County XC 2 Mile Preview Meet at Myers Park High School Saturday morning. For some of our runners, this was their first meet ever, and I am proud of you all! Ella Dunn, in her first ever cross country race, finished 7^th overall in the junior/senior girls race, with teammate Molly Mazeine close behind her in 11^th place. In the junior/senior boys race, Alex Domeier finished 13^th with Peter Mitchell right behind him in 15^th place. In the freshmen/sophomore boys race, Jake Morris finished 12^th, Benjamin Whetstone 15^th and Max Gilbert 17^th.

The actual distance of the course was 2.1 miles (about 3400m). The results are also posted online at http://racesonline.com/events/charlotte-running-company-cross-country-run/results/2015-xc-preview/dashboard, and I’ll have a hard copy of all the results at practice on Monday.

I’d also like to give a shout out to Country Day rising 8^th grader Sophie Spada who earned first place overall female in the open 5k at 8am with a time of 21:34.9, which is fantastic on Myers Park’s hilly course. Well done, Sophie!”

Charlotte Country Day XC Team at their first race.

Please follow our team on twitter this season @CCDSXCountry for many more promising updates as our season gets into full swing September 1.

            RunningWorks also had one of their signature races of the year on Saturday as well—The OrthoCarolina Classic 10k/5k.  RunningWorks was one of the focus charities for this event and over 1000 runners participated in one of Charlotte’s most popular summer races.  RW was charged with manning the course monitors for the event and we had several athletes compete in the 10k and 5k races on an unusually cool Saturday morning in August.  One of my “team” members, PerformanceTherapy of Charlotte, was a title sponsor for the race. Mike is truly one of the best at his trade and we at RunningWorks are forever grateful for his support.

Meredith Dolhare, Mike Danenberg, and myself at the OrthoCarolina Classic.

            Life is good. I love what I do.  Therapy is going extremely well and I may get to take my first running steps in almost four months at the end of next week. Every day, I am surrounded by runners: the people I love most are runners, those I coach are runners, and those I serve are runners. I cannot wait to feel the joy they have been experiencing again very soon. I have received many gifts in this life, but none can compare to influence and impact running has had on me.  Full-time training is on the horizon.  My body is ready. My mind is ready. And most importantly, my heart is ready to do the thing I love the most once again.

Coach Matt's New Perspective

Coach Matt explains what an interval means to Charlotte Country Day XC Team.

            Since my surgery ten weeks ago, I have had the chance to reflect upon my life in many ways.  I have been able to think about so many changes and opportunities that I have had and how life is constantly moving forward.  The funny thing about life is that is moves whether we are prepared or not, and the choices we make directly affect its turns.  I have always been a planner.  I am a person who has focused on THEIR personal plan and strived to direct MY life in the way in which I want to achieve MY personal goals.  Many of my goals have been athletic ones, as running has become a lifestyle choice that has colored essentially 100% of the decisions I have made these last eight years.  Running has opened so many doors for me and given me a road to success not only on the track but also with health, relationships and even a way to make a living for myself.  However, these last two months my mind has shifted away from running in a unique way.  Since I haven’t been able to exercise, I find myself not even thinking about running unless someone asks me about my foot and how it is doing.  I find myself not wanting to cross-train or do anything really to start building fitness.  I haven’t really exercised at all in the last three months and in a weird way feel content about that.  I haven’t given up on running—trust me—I have just invested my time in other areas and it is actually quite a relief to know that I can function outside of my own athletic performance and drive.

            I have been in Charlotte for some time now.  It seems everywhere that life has taken me I have, for some reason, been blessed with time and the ability to always be connected to other runners.  I have tried to invest myself in helping others with their running and that has brought me more joy than any personal athletic accomplishment I have ever had.  Helping people as “Coach Matt”, instead of the sub-4 minute professional miler is actually exhilarating.  Letting people get to know me for who I am instead of what I have accomplished as a runner brings a peace to my life.  Seeing people who you have helped become more intrinsically motivated and successful for themselves from using a piece of advice that you have been able to pass on creates a high for me like nothing else.  I would be nothing without the impact of other people in my life.  I would have never been fast, never gotten strong or been able to mentally handle professional level training and racing on my own.  Luckily, I am a person who respected those who have tried to help me with the highest regard and established a family with those who have sacrificed so much for me that will last my lifetime.

            RunningWorks and the Charlotte Country Day Cross Country team have been my saving graces, along with Meredith Dolhare who has helped keep my head above water at home.  She is the founder of RunningWorks but more importantly my best friend.  The main reason I have been able to stay connected to running is because of her and she has paved the way for me to be a mentor to so many people from so many walks of life.  She is the only woman who has ever reminded me of my mother—a “Kim-Possible” type of lady.  She can do anything.   She has done everything. And she will stop at nothing to get the job done.  She has challenged me to be a better person and very few people in my life outside of my immediate family have ever done that. 

My RunningWorks family touring a new program.

            Cross-country practice officially started two weeks ago and I cannot tell you how excited I am to be a part of a team again.  Training on my own and traveling to races by myself for much of my career has not been nearly as fun and rewarding as it has been to have help and support from others.  Knoxville Youth Athletics gave me a team in Tennessee along with my roommate Gabe and strength coach Greg.  Charlotte Country Day and RunningWorks will be my family here in Charlotte.  Pictured below are my new family members—the ones who will support me and who I will have the pleasure of sharing life with in this next chapter.  Malachi is a RunningWorks team member who has so much promise and potential.  Unfortunately this last week he was in a near fatal car crash shattering his hip leaving him immobile for the next three months.  Meredith and the RW team sprung directly in to action and have supported him relentlessly throughout his hospital stay and will be by his side every step of the way on his road to recovery. 

            Opportunities like the ones I will be undertaking this fall are what make my world spin on its axis.  Life is so much more than running, but my life would be nothing without it.  I want to thank In the Arena, Brooks Running and all of you who have supported me and encouraged me in my time away from the competitive side of the sport.  I have probably learned more from not running a step in over 12 weeks than I ever did running 10-12 times per week over the last three years.  I will take my first stride this month and I cannot wait to see how my perspective has changed and how much more driven I will be—to be more than I ever thought I could be.  Onwards and Upwards!

Malachi and I in the hospital in Columbia, SC.

The Highest Standard of Excellence

Meredith and support crew at entrance of Death Valley National Park

It is amazing the places running takes me. Right now, my “normal” schedule would place me in Europe racing for four weeks in the lead-up to what I had hoped would be Worlds this August. Due to the rupture in my posterior tibilias on my right foot and subsequent foot surgery to rebuild the tendon, I have found myself sidelined and seeking other interesting opportunities within the running field.

And so I find myself at the Badwater 135-mile Ultramarathon in Death Valley, California, this week—the hottest place on earth even above the Sahara Desert. This race is known widely as the “Toughest Footrace on the Planet” and is ranked #1 by National Geographic on their list of hardest events, so I jumped at the chance to take the final crew position for my good friend Meredith Dolhare.

I love to experience all aspects of running, and this is the complete opposite end of the spectrum from what I do: long, grueling, gritty, unpredictable mile-after-mile starting at night and most likely ending at night featuring some of the toughest athletes on the planet in extreme conditions. The last year Meredith was here (2013), temperatures topped out at 129 degrees with wind gusts at night up to 50mph.

Witnessing the preparations involved the past couple of days for both Meredith and the crew has been fascinating and reminds me of what it takes for visionaries like L.L. Bean and In the Arena to build products and programs to last within today’s culture. Just like an ultra-marathoner, both In the Arena and L.L. Bean take the long view and both are ready for anything thrown their way. In fact, both organizations relish helping people find the tools necessary to succeed. Preparedness is key.

That being said, I brought my Vintage L.L. Bean Puff Vest all the way to the “hottest place on the planet” this week because you never know what will happen. I will be ready when we climb from the lowest point in the continental United States in Badwater Basin to the highest point in the U.S.—the top of Mount Whitney. Why? I have L.L. Bean and In the Arena on my side. My puff vest is the only cool weather article of clothing I need for this trip and will keep me warm when Meredith reaches the top of Mt. Whitney as she finishes her race early this Thursday morning!

Meredith running the Badwater 135 in 2013 at mile 110.  She eventually climbed Mt. Whitney in the distance finishing 3rd in her inaugural run.

Embrace the Process for Progress

First Steps in in my Boot Cast using cart at Lowe's as a crutch.

“A person's ability to learn, and translate that learning into action rapidly, is the ultimate competitive advantage.”

 Jack Welch

I'll be the first to admit I have lived an incredibly blessed life; one with very little heartache, surrounded with inspiring and spiritual people. I am grateful to God for giving me gifts on many levels, and my parents for providing opportunities at every turn.

Dealing with an abrupt end to what had been a fairly good 2015 season due to a rupture in my posterior tibialis needing total reconstruction via surgery seemed like a death sentence to someone like me. I'm just being honest. I've never had a major injury requiring this kind of care, I have never been on crutches, never been in a cast and rarely taken unscheduled days off. Frankly, I have only done "performance enhancing pre-hab" in physical therapy, so this sudden change in my lifestyle left me feeling like someone stole my mojo. At first. 

As I adjust to changes out of my control on a daily basis, I begin to find myself grateful for this learning experience, and thankful my Mom instilled the mantra "attitude is everything" in my psyche. Every time I want to feel sorry for myself, I try to remember each phase of this recovery is part of my process goals for the Olympic Trials and subsequently, the dream outcome goal: Rio. 

“A good hockey player plays where the puck is. A great hockey player plays where the puck is going to be.”

 Wayne Gretzky

Sure, it would be easy to sit on my bottom right now dreaming of the 1500m Olympic Team for Rio 2016, but that is the problem with outcome goals, or even performance ones. I know what time I'll most likely have to run, and I'm certainly not there right now considering I just started walking again this week with a boot cast! Process goals, the small daily steps taken (pun intended) to reach outcome and performance markers, keep me focused on my minor successes along the way. With the extra time I have currently, I am able to really step outside myself and help the kids I coach achieve their goals, and gift my experience with causes like RunningWorks to get out of the house. 

Jared and Jacob Coccia leading the pack on their way to duel PR's in the 5k on the track.

The RunningWorks crew at the final meet of the Run For Your Life Summer Track Series.

This week, I got to lose the crutches. I'm walking better every day in my boot cast, but I had to use both crutches and the boot at first. Progress. In another ten days, I start physical therapy--this time with a vengeance and some serious time to make up. I'll be ready because I have learned to embrace this recovery period as a positive, and use it to hone my mind for the competitive year ahead.

PROGRESS

A Lesson in Recovery

Honestly, I think the past two weeks have been the most trying of my life. Days off? Ha. Weeks without movement? Please.

I like to move, shake and feel alive. Dance, do “the whip”, whatever. My doctor insisted that I sit still for once. This is not in my vocabulary, but it is what the “doctor ordered”.

So I sit still for the first time. Ever.

As I see others moving through life while I am incapacitated, I am reminded to be grateful for the things I take for granted. Being on crutches has taught me a self-suffiency that I did not realize I possessed. I’ve learned an enormous amount about myself and my ability to navigate tough situations—crutches and all. My injury is not life threatening and seems so much worse because I am an elite athlete with Olympic dreams. Those dreams are alive and well, festering in my brain as I recover.

I have a new respect for those with true catastrophic injury or illness. I’m aware my current state of fitness, which will enable me to recover quickly, and athletic ability, are a gift from God.

These past couple of weeks have been a test. I am so ready for the challenge ahead, and I trust in my faith, the support around me and all of you.